Adventure under the house

I was under the house finding a screw that had dropped through the verandah, and which was essential to getting the window holder thingy back on the window, after I took it off to paint the window. We have just put a timber wall around the bottom of the house with a gate in it, to make the house look nice and keep the council happy, so I was hemmed in so to speak. So I was on my hands and knees, moving slowly and painfully across numerous bits of rock, hard dirt, rusty nails etc. trying not to think about having to make my way back again. I finally found the screw and on my way back saw a roll of shade cloth, which I thought would be good to use on the Chook Palace. (chooks arrive tomorrow). There was a dead spider on it, but I thought I'll just shake it off, then we'll be right. Just to be on the safe side I checked the distance to the gate in the fence and tried to crab walk, but decided I liked the skin on my back more. So I picked up the roll of shade cloth and banged it on a handy piece of metal support bar, and the bloody dead spider was stuck and it didn't move. So I banged it again. Still didn't move. I was determined not to take a dead spider outside with me, for the life of me I can't remember why, so I hit it one last time really hard. Then the *&%$##%$ dead spider suddenly sprouted eight legs and ran down the shade cloth. At this point I bravely decided to leave the shade cloth under the house for the husband to retrieve. Hopefully this will be my first and last adventure under the house.